DIVORCE

• 9 states are community property states — all marital assets split 50/50 regardless of contribution
• 41 states use equitable distribution — "fair" but not necessarily equal
• Retirement accounts (401k, pension) are divisible through a QDRO
• Business ownership is divisible even if your spouse never participated
• Assets owned before marriage may still be at risk if commingled

• Legal vs physical custody are separate — understand both
• Default outcomes heavily favor mothers in most jurisdictions
• Document everything — your involvement, communications, expenses
• Parental alienation is real and increasingly recognized by courts
• Custody arrangements can be modified if circumstances change significantly

• Calculated by state formula — income, custody split, and expenses
• Non-payment can result in license suspension, wage garnishment, jail
• Does not automatically decrease if you lose your job — must petition court
• College expenses may be required in some states beyond age 18
• Imputed income — courts can assign income even if you're unemployed

• Permanent alimony still exists in several states — it does not end
• Duration typically tied to length of marriage
• Cohabitation by recipient may terminate it — but only if you pursue it
• Tax treatment changed in 2019 — no longer deductible for payer
• Pre-nuptial agreements are the only reliable protection against it

• Inventory all assets and liabilities — document everything with statements
• Photograph valuables and obtain appraisals before proceedings begin
• Open individual accounts — joint accounts can be drained legally
• Understand your credit exposure on joint debt
• Never move marital assets — this can be used against you as dissipation

• Update all beneficiary designations immediately — life insurance, 401k, IRA
• Remove ex-spouse from all accounts, credit cards, and insurance policies
• Build an emergency fund — unexpected legal motions are expensive
• Track all support payments and obtain receipts
• Rebuild credit independently as quickly as possible

Divorced men face significantly elevated risks across multiple dimensions of health and wellbeing. Men are 2.4 times more likely to die by suicide following divorce than divorced women. Social isolation is a primary driver — men typically lose their social network, their home, and daily access to their children simultaneously. Studies consistently show that men rely more heavily on marriage for social support than women, making its loss more devastating. Loss of access to children is among the most psychologically damaging outcomes a man can experience. The mental health system was not built to serve men in this crisis. You need a plan before the divorce, not after.